Was it There Inside, All This Time?

I never knew this was even IN me. I never felt this way about art, and children before. Even though I always had the kids at my house for play, even when I was not the most present parent.

But now, now it’s different. Now, I am different. (Completely different from my unaware days). On top of that, since having my second, I made a decision, I felt was HUGE. It was HUGE to me, & it was a role I decided to take on & first thing I committed to besides motherhood (& a couple other things I’ll mention in another post) . It still is one of the only things I committed to whole heartedly & stuck to really …. after I had my second daughter. 

Short story:  Her father left when she was just about 2 years old. (There is a ‘happy ending’ but this is not at all what this post is about)… Her father is an incredible artist, I mean incredibly talented. I allowed him to ink my body in two different places, permentenly. He’d have to be a more than fantastic artist for me to allow that! I don’t even think he knows his fullest potential. Anyway.

After his untimely departure, I felt I was faced with a huge challenge. I pondered then, with all of my being: “HOW?! HOW? How could I make this child feel at peace with growing up without her father, BUT, still have sooo many pieces of him glaringly ALIVE IN HER… HOW??”

“What COULD I do to keep her LOVING even the parts of herself she might grow to be angry about?” I got it… ART! Art was thee one thing her fathers personality was pretty much built around. HE could do anything. Walk on his hands, mimic a song with playing the cords, on any guitar, after first listen of a song; and he could sing and draw anything. And do all those things very well!

WHAT could she be naturally good at & grow to love, in her father, instead of hate, even if from a distance:  ART. The art part of her (and him, cuz she’s all part him...) could grow to be alive, thriving, flourishing, and growing inside her. See, for those that haven’t grown without one parent (especially female missing father) you must understand that we know we are still at least ‘50% our missing parent’. We blame ourselves, we don’t like parts of ourselves, usually until a certain age, because of their departure. No matter the circumstance. But, to get into this topic deeper, well that is for another post entirely…for now

So, that was my quest, & that was my answer; my decision: art it would be… Art would be the main focal point of EVERYTHING I Did surrounding this child’s growth & childhood & education. 

Problem was I knew nothing about art, accept that everything inside me loved to paint & draw. Once upon a time even (before my children were born) I was a very very talented sketcher, in my own eyes… but this had to be different. So I sought out all forms of children’s art activities and that’s where our new art journey had begun. (I will share in many a future post who taught me most).

Now the tree. And why the tree in the post picture… this tree represents so much more to me …. this tree, this tree yesterday (last week by the time I finish editing this post 😏) , was painted lovingly, openly, with kids, with kind spirits, wrapped in paint dipped threads, decorated with dandelions in abundance, by the kids that we have collected through our outdoor art-ventures, in a neighbourhood I had no hope, no hope for. NO HOPE we’d find our way, no hope we would find our own friends, our ownspace“–but most importantly our own “art-space“. Then it hit me, the tree struck me! This tree in its color, creative exterior & it’s artful  nature inspired presence, represents a root we have now planted here. 

Everything in me now loves Exploring art with kids. But where did it come from? Why? I LOVE exploring art with my own children! I LOVED exploring art with my youngest especially. As she grew though, she tired of the art activities … no matter how I masked them. No matter how I mashed up & mixed in baking, cooking, science, and math. I would set up long-winded or short, art-based activities outside on our OLD apartment front yard, side driveway, or back yard parking lot. 

I believe this is when the shift began, now in hindsight… 

See, all our neighbours backyards were aligned in a row, & ran parallel to our back parking lot. The other neighbourhood kids would peek over & try to see what we were up too. Or they’d shout over to us. During our activities, we would often screech in excitement (or argument). In drawing attention to ourselves we would end up with at least us plus 2 kids over, involved in whatever we were into at the time. Often, my daughter would be complianing, uninterested, & I would be alone in the activity while she just drew (always had a paper and pencil in hand, or would request one from me.) The point is, she, my own child, was becoming un-interested. Uninvolved. At times I was disappointed. At times I would carry on with the ‘art-ivity’, alone, hoping she would rejoin me eventually….

But, What happened was different than ever planned or thought of at all… this is the part I believe something in me kicked in, was growing, just turned on, or was just let out. Set free is exactly what I realize it feels like! I have not written about this before, so I’m rather excited to be sharing– I have not reflected on whatever this is and never asking myself before now:  

“Was This There Inside Me, This Whole Time?” Was it dragged out of me by my second daughter? Was she the one that birthed this part of me? Was she in fact the Creator & I the Curator of whatever this new found excitement was? Was I supposed to be a creative kids art teacher or guider? 

Back to the backyards, we ended up with kids from the street over at anytime we were outside & involved in our own art process. The others always wanting ‘in’ on our activities. I couldn’t ever say no!?! With their FEVOR, the Excitement in their eyes, & their absolute curiosity–how could I not be hooked on allowing them in?!?! 

That’s the moment it happened. But I did not realize it until almost 3 years later, that I might want to do this. Like forever. As a profession. And I changed again. Something changed in me again, or was re-birthed. Recently, I have decided, I must get back to school to study art. Everything and anything I can at whatever school I can. I cannot right now, get physically to our local college campus to start the Art & Design focused schooling I want to. Instead, I have picked up on every online course I can! I will gain all the knowledge I can about how to run my own art studio, for kids. For now I will share our newly created kids art group activities, with the kids in our new neighbourhood and with you all here. 

HUH…? Who knew? I certainly didn’t have a clue this was inside but, damn am I excited to feel like I know where I am going. Now, to manifest my dreams of teaching art, or art therapy to kids… 

If you would have asked me ever in my life before the last 5 if I swanted to teach art or have an art studio for children; I would have said NEVER!

HERE IS what I am up to right now:  

1-  I am an active member of Creativebug.com.  Creativebug is an online creative art teaching community, with about 1,000 classes available. These classes are taught by artists themselves, like Lisa Congdon:  art illustrator, fine artist, & collector extrordinare. 

My second teacher via Creativebug turned out to be a great creatively spiritual teacher, Flora Bowley

2-  Flora Bowleys Intuitive Painting Class on Creativebug opened my heart up to a new huge love I had all but forgotten, painting! Thankfully, I now have the opportunity to part take on her (book titled–!) online course called “Creative Revolution” (PSSSTget a Signed Copy of her book here!!) Flora’s 7-week ecourse is an incredibly exciting exploration of self, through art. I don’t know how to explain it. You must read or adventure it for yourself to really say what it is to you. 

I will keep you updated during this course, week by week. If you’re looking for more than once in a while updates, please visit me on Instagram! 

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Share your creative experience below. A special online course you found? Looking for a new daily art challenge? Try Tammy G’s Index-card-a-day art challenge #ICAD2017 . I find it a perfect in between my other projects, that keeps me from getting stuck. Are you a Creative that is feeling exhausted and over spent, physically overwhelmed? Visit the website of Creative life coach (who is another amazing female, I’m telling you!!) Amy Kuretsky and find out How she Fuels Her Hustle here! Into creative listening?  Podcasting for Creatives? Here’s a Great one! Via Danielle of the Jealous Curator. OH, And, Here’s  Youngman, he’s Your Creative Push

BE THE INSPIRATION,

Yours Truly, J9;) 

Some DIY | Some Lessons

Firstly, I must give credit where credit is due:  

The Proper Pinwheel

image credit belongs to The Proper Pinwheel more below:

The above photo is NOT mine but used as reference to the idea behind the project. This idea was not mine but, is my own version of the ever popular DIY creative, Lexy Ward via The Proper Pinwheel. Please follow all of Lexy’s social media networks to see more of her genuinely unique creations Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, Tumblr; but most important Subscribe! The inspiration for my post here was her Potato Stamp Neon Napkins DIY. If this project doesn’t interest you, Lexy B Ward projects can also be seen on the best DIY community on Curbly.com!

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OK, Now its time to talk about ME lol! As promised, I have much new fruitful learnings to share with my fellows here, from the many adventures  throughout our “lovely” Summer experiences! Like I say, “Onward and Upward”

SOME DIY

As you all know I am convinced in some delirious part of my brain, that I can complete a DIY! In fact, I have semi-completed 1 so far. The painting and gluing will be the last steps to the (DIY towel rack) completion. In the meantime, I have also added to the mix a few more pieces of DIY inspiration for our new white walls/blank canvas, in our (rental) apartment we have at our decor disposal now. I myself am almost frightened of what I will do or think of next. 

SOME LESSONS

And, that fact, has got me thinking alot more lately…I have always had a fear of completion. I dont know where it stems from. When I was a full blown alcoholic/addict, I had never completed any thing in my life, from start to finish. Not Once. Besides grades 1 through 11. Even my University career has been shortlived or started and not finished; ever. Tried twice already, and I am soon on my third; so I’d better figure this out FAST! TEEN’s own University career is up for discussion as of late and I’m feeling inadequate for advice or inspiration, never having completed my own. Of course, its for one reason or another. It’s never that I’d set out to start something and not finish–it’s just seemed to always turn out that way.

I even remember giving birth to TEEN, saying to my Mother “hey, thats the first thing I have ever done full circle, from start to finish Mom!” The second thing I ever completed once the one thing that saved my life. The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (with a Sponsor). The memory of finishing the 12th Step is clear as yesterday. It was 8 years plus ago. We sat on a bench outside our meeting space, under a low-rise condominium. The second we completed the reading portion a splash of fresh fallen rain water fell beside us with a loud noise that made us startle! The water represented for me the baptism of joining my new life. FYI – I also promised a post regarding my addiction experiences. I will get around to finishing it … soon ;) 

Told you I learned alot from our experiences this summer. About me, my children, my family, friends, neighbours and beliefs. There’s a few things I am working on inside. I have much more to share but, lets talk swag decor now (lol! swag).

THE GOOD STUFF:

My Photos:  

Presenting the first to be completed actually, my Crinkle-Cut Potato Stamp Art

Dollarama | Crinkle-Cut Potato Slicer

Our potatoe slices made with the Dollarama six year old ‘crinkle-cut potato slicer’

I chose this crinkle-cut slicer to create a unique characteristic in our DIY (to be different from the original idea as well); hopingto give a wavy sort of look on the paint. 

Crinkle-Cut Potato Stamp

OH! Cut potato in opposite directions again for uniqueness in our interpretation


Grabbed LOs small already cut-off black shorts, knowing the next day was to be a hot one here. The black helps boast the bright neons chosen for paint. Age and condition of the shorts only assisted me in being ok with messing up, which is always a great possibility when I set out to do, anything;)

Crinkle-Cut Potato Stamped clothing choice

TIP:  Slip cardboard between fabric to prevent sticking, bleeding of paint colour, & preventing ‘bunched up’ paint stamp


YES, I thought of that TIPall on my own ;D  

Crinkle-Cut Potato Stamper

just a cool shot


 

Crinkle-Cut Potato Stamp - first stamp

aww … our first stamp – nail biting!


 

Crinkle-Cut Potato Stamp - LO

LO is now an experienced fashion designer


LO was so excited to wear her shorts I don’t know how I managed to get her to sleep. Next day we both decided to show off our home DIY ‘fashion designs’ together! I love watching LOs posture just rise three-feet higher as she prances into school, announcing her creation to impressed teachers and classmates. With her developmental delays LO doesn’t have many other children understand or approach her for play. I encourage her creativity to offer her a way to introduce herself and add more verbal communication between her and her fellows (at daycare/”school”). 

The sweet reveal images:  

 

Crinkle-Cut Potato Stamp - tank top reveal

here she is! my tank top reveal


Unfortunately, LO wouldn’t stay still for a photo of her shorts. They all appear too blurry to post. Now, remember I am no photo genius or no DIY genius! The next shots were fun in the moment try-ons and non-professional. 

Crinkle-Cut Potato Stamp - opps

Oppsie! NO I am NOT pregnant, although this photo makes it look like I am from a distance!


Definitely no chance of pregnancy with this blogger…last photo is my favorite. The back of my tank top turned out much better than the front; probably because I did the back last. Next time I will learn the mistakes that way. 

completed tank top

completed project #1 ;) We actually got compliments all day about our clothes!

Remember, This is just one of the projects I have started around the house. PLEASE, I welcome the push to see me complete and POST my projects! I’d love to hear your colour recommendations, or different ideas and inspirations you’d like to share with me. Consider me your DIY Ginea Pig:  If I have the tools, I will try it! Leave behind a link to ANY DIY projects you’ve posted completed or started LOL around the house; you know, so I know Im not alone in learning how to FINISH things! 

JayNine xo 

As I have said in the past, if you like my photos and wish to use them, just ask or drop me a line of the content it’s been featured in, thanks. Remember, these are my family time photos and I expect them to be shared in the same manner.

be you

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Just a quick reminder of inspiration to my WP friends, before we start out on our Canadian Canada Day long Weekend celebrations:

“be you”

During the times in our lives when we’re most interested in others and the world around us, we can be lead to disbelieve in our own powers, for whatever reason. I am guilty of constantly comparing my self to others blog writers, and guilty of not giving my-SELF, enough credit.

I am who I am.
I have been through many of my life’s own unique personal experiences, that have created me, as I am. Today.

Chose to “be you”, embrace you, remember you, and be confident in each and every little piece, that makes you. You are whole. You are unique. You are allowed to “be you”.

Blessed Weekends, to All of my friends, WP Family, and followers,

JayNine xox

image source:
Etsy Shop, message or Comment for details on this wood piece with quote on stand.