Info and Updates

Every blogger around this time of Summer and ‘relaxation’ (for some lol!), are finding the time for blogging slim to none. This is an update of our Orange Rhino Challenge, providing links for parent support, social media outlets, and other Mommy bloggers from around the web taking the challenge.

For those of you that don’t know, I have accepted the Orange Rhino Challenge; to better my parenting without ‘yelling & screaming’ for 365 days. I am at DAY 2 (again), on my 3rd attempt! We’re still ‘under construction’.

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The results? INSTANT turn around! Remember, its a process of breaking ties of my past, and past parenting. Its not that simple. Its a part of me, a part of my ‘make up’ that needs demolition and the Orange Rhino is truly just scratching the surface. Sadly, this past weekend, I turned to an instant 10 steps back…Blame the weather, my patience, not keeping in touch, too many doctors appointments–it doesn’t matter.
I am admittedly back at DAY 2, and I will not give up on myself, because it is a goal for my children (and self).

The Reevaluation? My going about this. I have chose to turn it down a notch, to a 30 DAY challenge, to start. The obvious long term goal, is to collect 12 months 365 days, and to have the challenge last forever. period. Personally, these types of large change, work better in smaller increments (which is allowed through taking the challenge guidelines/rules;)!

For Me, my successes have been well achieved through applying my tools, the following way:
* ‘One Day at a Time’ *
* One hour at a time *
* ‘One situation at a Time’ *
Breaking the days down, as each separate situation as it
rears its ugly head, is much easier a pill to swallow
.

I have learned so much so far, about myself, my parenting, and about my wonderful children.

I ‘HATE’ Humidity:
I don’t ‘hate’ anything, anyone, nor do we even use the word! The humidity is the contributing factor! It adversely affects the children and I. We do not work well, under these temperatures! Enjoy your A/C parents because we do not have that luxury, yet lol! Changes our mood, my patience, and all of our physical comforts. YUK!
* I am reminded of this lesson through the heat: I must stay focused on being a better parent, no matter what the weather (that’s silly and embarrassing to hear aloud!), or circumstance, right? This is not something I didn’t know but, I (obviously) needed the reminder. Everyone is uncomfortable with this heat. I must remember, to ‘be in thought of the others’ as well. Another skill I work on daily, regardless of challenges.

Children crave Discipline:
And, so do I! We all know this. We all have read article that prove, dealing with any child’s ‘mis-behaviour’ or difficult behaviours, can easily be curved with well disciplined parenting. This, for me is a struggle right now. I have a hard time in a challenging moment, to deliver the correct, age, and learning ability, consequences, for these unwanted behaviours.

Mainly, this comes from having a 4 year old with developmental learning disabilities (still undiagnosed as to what specifically), leaving me in a place of questioning my consequences constantly. So, I Read, read more, search for more information, on line, books, and I await the proper resources! My daughter just had her first diagnosis Assessment–only to see if she qualifies for assistance provided by our region’s government. This will then provide her and I with: funding, occupational therapist for her at daycare/school, a resource therapist POR MOI; and a slue of other services, to better lead LOs development correctly.
I am ecstatic about this news from professionals! FINALLY! Everyone had said to me, ‘it’s normal‘ ‘she’ll grow out of it‘ . As her only parent & mother, I have always known, something just wasn’t quite right.

For now, my consequence deliveries (sometimes just my parenting in general) are hit and miss. Sometimes I laugh at myself wondering what I was thinking! Which brings me to the BEST PART OF PARENTING:

LAUGHING:
An old friend used to advise me on the hard days, “Look at a situation like you’re watching it through the TV…’Friends’ or ‘Rosanne’… from the couch. See a sit-com! It will help you relax, let go, and maybe even laugh! Not allow you to take your life so seriously” I admit, after never giving this idea a fair shot: IT WORKS! In most situations, I have chosen to laugh as of late! Even just smile when it hurts, resisting the temptation to yell. Results? I found the immediate results of pretending I was ok and this was somehow ‘funny’–almost instantly lightens my heart.

With my own personal anxiety difficulties, I find my heart feels heavy, burdened some moments, almost sad at times; before, during and after encountering ‘challenging’ parenting situations. The Sit-Com Idea is becoming a well-used one! The look on my youngsters face seems to shift from anger, to confusion, her eyes looking back at mine, (I am ALWAYS at eye level when interacting), and her ears almost perk up like a puppy to listen to the words I have to say…and, we’re smiling again.

The Orange Rhino Challenge has changed my parenting styles forever.
It has touched my life, heart, and the same of my children
.

Please, share all of your own tips, advice, experience, inspiration, ideas, and parenting skills, here.
Please, go visit and encourage the other “WordPress Family” members, as embark on the same journey. I know they’ll appreciate it. (lists below:)
We all LOVE that you all are keeping us accountable and inspired to continue, on our personal journeys.

MORE links of some other new Challenge Accepting Moms, I found from the web:
— the ‘Family Organic‘ pop over to encourage the 5 days fresh challenge accepter
on Blogger!
‘Table of Seven’ a WP Blog I just found here
— ‘Forgetful Momma‘ (sounds just like me already) on Blogger, I believe
— ‘Becoming Boston on Blogger however, I cannot
find a post date

WordPress Families taking the challenge are:
Fascinations of a Vanilla Housewifethe (amazing 21 days free)
— (fun) Adventures of Miss Fanny P
‘Empowering Lives 4 Him’ invites us to join her, WordPress!
**feel free to leave your blog link below in comments for support. I will add it to this post.**

JayNine xo
PS–Read the post before this one for photos from our last weeks, without blogging!

A NOTE:to those ‘taking the challenge’.
*Remember* utilize the resources the site provides. Use the support of Orange Rhino’s Facebook Page or ‘Support Group‘! An inspiring place to remind us DON’T QUIT we have much support. I found the challenge creators Tube Channel! We all have to ‘Subscribe‘ IDEA: we should all perform Guest Videos right?

Wordful Weekend

I may not have all the words,
I may not have all the answers,
but, I do have you;
and WE
have
inspiration.

…your supportive Mother
and friend,
Jeanine H xo

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classic ceramics from ‘MB Arts Studio’

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second image
If there was any one way I had to sum up my entire life’s parenting experiences, this quote would be it.

Many discussions, disturbances, disagreements, and progress have been encountered this week amongst myself and those in our lives, surrounding my 4 year olds ‘development’. Each time I practice an idea, tip, or advice sourced from other parents (on line or our circle) I find myself learning more than teaching. I have said in the 4 years, especially:
My Children are the Teachers, and I, their Student.”

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I have tried and succeeded, failed, tried again, failed, succeeded, at becoming the parent my children could love and especially look up to. Endless efforts have always been in place in my life, to parent without raising my voice. For the most part, I could go about 2-3 weeks of success. Something inside me could not let go of the parenting character defects, that have plagued from from the beginning of time.

Basically, I grew tired of hearing the sound of my own voice (I still do somedays lol) and I found this life changing challenge from another (truly inspiring Mommy) Blog. My master volume button has been set to ‘LOW’. Somedays, Slowly. Finally. For today. ‘One Day at A Time‘ I face this personal endeavor, with the reverence, willingness, and loyalty of the most dedicated Christian disciples (let’s say)…(Here is the scoop for parents looking for help with their parenting skills, or just to share your support here, for this community challenge)

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everything is going to be ok

Sending you all prayers of blessings, enjoyment, and life’s best, this day and everyday.
Happy Weekend,
Jeanine H, and Girlz ;)

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Father’s Day, from a fathers eyes

THIS is a Dad. THIS is a Father. THIS is a MAN. Doesn’t matter the suit their wear, the size of their pockets, bank books, or shiny the car–DonOfAllTrades is a MUST Follow for real love, parenting, and all written by a wonderful, deserving, real Father.
Happy Father’s Day to the Real Ones!
J9;)

don of all trades

While I like to joke about them, I love my kids, of course.

I’m their dad.

I suck at showing it all the time.

I don’t say I love you enough, I’m sure. I do try to say it everyday, but it never seems like enough.

I often go to bed after not seeing my kids at all during the day because of work. I miss them on those days and I sometimes find myself wondering if I’m doing enough to make sure they know how I feel about them.

The boys are small enough that they probably could care less at this point, but Ace is a big girl and soon she’ll have big girl issues. I want her to be able to come to me with those issues knowing that I’ll do my best to help her and love her in spite of whatever is going on.

My…

View original post 1,422 more words

365 Parenting Challenge

That’s it! I’m DONE! I have put this off for far too long and the guilt and shame is relentless!
No More!

After reading this post by the Vanilla Housewife)(follow her!) I made a decision. A decision to take action, action against myself!
3 days ago, I took an oath to no longer ‘scream’ and/or ‘yell’ at my children. I am on day 4/365 to scream-free parenting; in accordance to the guidelines from the Orange Rhino Challenge.(about), with much to report…Unexpected results have happened already.

Without needing to go into an entire background check of reasons why I have scrreamed and yelled as a parent in the last 14 years, I would like to remain focused on the present moment and future successes. I am using this post to admit my faults, flaws, and absolute inability to control any situation around me, without yelling. I am focused on looking forward. I am determined to create change. I admit my misuse of parental power or that which I believed I had attained by yelling. (imagine?) This, my friends, make NO mistake is an extremely difficult flaw to admit; to you, to anyone. Anyone that has participated in something like this will say the same thing! I commend and thank those that came before me to share their inspiration. Remember, I am essentially admitting defeat in myself, in my parenting skills, admitting the cause of pain to my own precious child. (as I sit in tears).

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But, on with the Challenge(details here)!!!
I taking up my sword** rising it against my foe, and ridding my-SELF of: the great angry woman/mother/hurt child that lies inside me and cheats me from having any real happy new experiences with my children today. With BOTH of my children. Teen and Four year old.
(**sword: reference to the assistance here from the Rhino Site suggestions, but also, the
Word Of God that is my core strength).

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Today, I am (RE-) taking this Oath for all to witness, in writing here and will be publicly held accountable and report to you all, the challenges and changes to come. Orange Rhino site to join me. Take a look around to read the comments, replies, reports, and support of each other, on each. Or read 12 Steps to Stop Yelling at Your Children.

I have made it (almost to the end of day) 4 days, without screaming ‘at’ my 4 year old or teen!
I have made so much progress with my LO that I feel a sense of trust re-building, and rejoicing in my heart, that I can actually feel, glowing, strongly. The binds of our relationship are not heavy, weak, and based on fear. Their uplifting, strong, and based on love. Don’t get me wrong, LO knows when a change is in the air and produced the most difficult and defiant situations this weekend before me–in hopes I’d scream. Oh no folks, she does do some of it intentionally, to see how far til I scream. This weekend, lol, shes tried so much that I looked at her and said, in a calm voice(at her level)with a smile on my face (all I could do not to break my toe in drywall) “I know you want mommy to scream yes? Well, it’s not going to happen so stop trying” LOL
We had one incident maybe I will link a post to that here at some point.
Otherwise

So far, SOO good...
I will be posting updates as the days pass and placing the Links to them under a new Page I will start today (adding links regularly), titled: “365 Parenting” Each post numbered as such.
Today will be filed under “4/365”
Hopefully I will move forward,
and not back in number.
Leave with me your tips, advice, helpful links, or some kicks in the butt to keep up the work I must complete as it has been a fruitful weekend since beginning this Challenge.

In Sincerest Honesty,

JayNine xo
*I will be adding a most helpful “Page” full of links for help for any others in need of support; or even children’s activities, for your parenting resources. You can leave help tips in the “Reply” space, there too.

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Dedicated Words of Wisdom

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To all my Mommy Blogger friends here, my favorite reads, like ‘DonOfAllTrades‘ ‘TheDisSocialMom‘ ‘ihaveanopinionidliketoshare’ and beyond: you ALL KNOW whom you are…& if not, feel free to join us if you feel you qualify..!

I just wanted to say something sappy:

On a lonely sunny a little sad day for me; i thank you all for being here, sharing your stories, successes, for sharing in the insanity of my mind, for writing the words i cannot find, and for being thee real-est hon-est bunch of (crazy-ass) normal, down-2-earth bloggers around these parts…
A
Blessed
Thank
You
for being here for me, and all your readers;
&
For just being
You.

Cheers to the comfort an laughs you bring us here!

Jaynine xox