Info and Updates

Every blogger around this time of Summer and ‘relaxation’ (for some lol!), are finding the time for blogging slim to none. This is an update of our Orange Rhino Challenge, providing links for parent support, social media outlets, and other Mommy bloggers from around the web taking the challenge.

For those of you that don’t know, I have accepted the Orange Rhino Challenge; to better my parenting without ‘yelling & screaming’ for 365 days. I am at DAY 2 (again), on my 3rd attempt! We’re still ‘under construction’.

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The results? INSTANT turn around! Remember, its a process of breaking ties of my past, and past parenting. Its not that simple. Its a part of me, a part of my ‘make up’ that needs demolition and the Orange Rhino is truly just scratching the surface. Sadly, this past weekend, I turned to an instant 10 steps back…Blame the weather, my patience, not keeping in touch, too many doctors appointments–it doesn’t matter.
I am admittedly back at DAY 2, and I will not give up on myself, because it is a goal for my children (and self).

The Reevaluation? My going about this. I have chose to turn it down a notch, to a 30 DAY challenge, to start. The obvious long term goal, is to collect 12 months 365 days, and to have the challenge last forever. period. Personally, these types of large change, work better in smaller increments (which is allowed through taking the challenge guidelines/rules;)!

For Me, my successes have been well achieved through applying my tools, the following way:
* ‘One Day at a Time’ *
* One hour at a time *
* ‘One situation at a Time’ *
Breaking the days down, as each separate situation as it
rears its ugly head, is much easier a pill to swallow
.

I have learned so much so far, about myself, my parenting, and about my wonderful children.

I ‘HATE’ Humidity:
I don’t ‘hate’ anything, anyone, nor do we even use the word! The humidity is the contributing factor! It adversely affects the children and I. We do not work well, under these temperatures! Enjoy your A/C parents because we do not have that luxury, yet lol! Changes our mood, my patience, and all of our physical comforts. YUK!
* I am reminded of this lesson through the heat: I must stay focused on being a better parent, no matter what the weather (that’s silly and embarrassing to hear aloud!), or circumstance, right? This is not something I didn’t know but, I (obviously) needed the reminder. Everyone is uncomfortable with this heat. I must remember, to ‘be in thought of the others’ as well. Another skill I work on daily, regardless of challenges.

Children crave Discipline:
And, so do I! We all know this. We all have read article that prove, dealing with any child’s ‘mis-behaviour’ or difficult behaviours, can easily be curved with well disciplined parenting. This, for me is a struggle right now. I have a hard time in a challenging moment, to deliver the correct, age, and learning ability, consequences, for these unwanted behaviours.

Mainly, this comes from having a 4 year old with developmental learning disabilities (still undiagnosed as to what specifically), leaving me in a place of questioning my consequences constantly. So, I Read, read more, search for more information, on line, books, and I await the proper resources! My daughter just had her first diagnosis Assessment–only to see if she qualifies for assistance provided by our region’s government. This will then provide her and I with: funding, occupational therapist for her at daycare/school, a resource therapist POR MOI; and a slue of other services, to better lead LOs development correctly.
I am ecstatic about this news from professionals! FINALLY! Everyone had said to me, ‘it’s normal‘ ‘she’ll grow out of it‘ . As her only parent & mother, I have always known, something just wasn’t quite right.

For now, my consequence deliveries (sometimes just my parenting in general) are hit and miss. Sometimes I laugh at myself wondering what I was thinking! Which brings me to the BEST PART OF PARENTING:

LAUGHING:
An old friend used to advise me on the hard days, “Look at a situation like you’re watching it through the TV…’Friends’ or ‘Rosanne’… from the couch. See a sit-com! It will help you relax, let go, and maybe even laugh! Not allow you to take your life so seriously” I admit, after never giving this idea a fair shot: IT WORKS! In most situations, I have chosen to laugh as of late! Even just smile when it hurts, resisting the temptation to yell. Results? I found the immediate results of pretending I was ok and this was somehow ‘funny’–almost instantly lightens my heart.

With my own personal anxiety difficulties, I find my heart feels heavy, burdened some moments, almost sad at times; before, during and after encountering ‘challenging’ parenting situations. The Sit-Com Idea is becoming a well-used one! The look on my youngsters face seems to shift from anger, to confusion, her eyes looking back at mine, (I am ALWAYS at eye level when interacting), and her ears almost perk up like a puppy to listen to the words I have to say…and, we’re smiling again.

The Orange Rhino Challenge has changed my parenting styles forever.
It has touched my life, heart, and the same of my children
.

Please, share all of your own tips, advice, experience, inspiration, ideas, and parenting skills, here.
Please, go visit and encourage the other “WordPress Family” members, as embark on the same journey. I know they’ll appreciate it. (lists below:)
We all LOVE that you all are keeping us accountable and inspired to continue, on our personal journeys.

MORE links of some other new Challenge Accepting Moms, I found from the web:
— the ‘Family Organic‘ pop over to encourage the 5 days fresh challenge accepter
on Blogger!
‘Table of Seven’ a WP Blog I just found here
— ‘Forgetful Momma‘ (sounds just like me already) on Blogger, I believe
— ‘Becoming Boston on Blogger however, I cannot
find a post date

WordPress Families taking the challenge are:
Fascinations of a Vanilla Housewifethe (amazing 21 days free)
— (fun) Adventures of Miss Fanny P
‘Empowering Lives 4 Him’ invites us to join her, WordPress!
**feel free to leave your blog link below in comments for support. I will add it to this post.**

JayNine xo
PS–Read the post before this one for photos from our last weeks, without blogging!

A NOTE:to those ‘taking the challenge’.
*Remember* utilize the resources the site provides. Use the support of Orange Rhino’s Facebook Page or ‘Support Group‘! An inspiring place to remind us DON’T QUIT we have much support. I found the challenge creators Tube Channel! We all have to ‘Subscribe‘ IDEA: we should all perform Guest Videos right?

Challenge the Rhino

Hey There!

Just a quick check in with you all! We have been busy around here, keeping our voices down, fingers working and much kid playtime! I have many photos to share with you all and look forward to sharing them with you.

As you all know I have joined forces with the Vanilla HouseWife in the “The Orange Rhino Challenge“. 365 days to eliminate the yelling and screaming that doesn’t work (anyway) in my parenting. The Orange Rhino Challenge was created by a Mom like any one of us, whom had difficulties in screaming and yelling ‘at’ (creator descriiption on her page*) her children.

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This Challenge was designed to encourage Mom’s/Parents/CareGivers to explore other more healthy options for Parenting without damaging words tones and voice levels. To be held accountable for her commitment she shared it publicly! Another way to collect support, inspiration, and shares from other parents to assist her in her journey; which is now a large on line community where all parents can utilize the strengths and stories of others, to help themselves. There is much information to be had from the ‘Orange Rhino Challenge‘(about), it’s creator, to ‘Take The Challenge‘, the public stories and shares on the Facebook Page for all to use! More links for assistance from page: Revelations, Resources, Alternative Actions, Contact Info

I am on day 1st for the 3rd time, because I have chosen to be hard on myself. Or dedicated. Last night was actually the very first time I actually raised my voice in frustration ‘at’ my child (no where even remotely close to past at all no comparison whatsoever!) However QUICK I was to recover my tone, lower my voice, but the action had already been done, and this is the way I take responsibility for my actions. There has been NOTHING but increased agitation, aggression, confusion and loudness from my 4 year old, since the day I took the Challenge within myself just about 7 days ago. Note to Self: Get a separate Calendar for proper celebrated day counts* (lol)

The reactions from the children whom are now in uprise against the authority all over the house (or the daycares or schools) now, while parents are endevouring on this type of challenge, has worldly increased! Or, is that the voice of my SCREAMING, grip of death lock, my LO has now when I drop her off at daycare? .. Either way, she now has no where to vent her aggression and anger issues, without both of us being held completely accountable for our actions.
(We do have other exploration going on for LO to have a place, space to deal with her aggression)

As scary, difficult and trying this Challenge can FEEL, sound or look; it is by far thee greatest thing that has ever happened to our relationship.

Update: in 6 days I have raised my voice. twice. (Wrong. Yes. I have counted it in my challenge chart) The voices around my home have lowered to a minimum at our best levels. The behaviors have shifted. It’s almost immeasurable the effort it takes, to the comparison of the results. The relationships flourishing, feeling more nourished, and the peace bubbling in my heart has never felt so intense. The children are paying more attention (including the teen? wow;) Their words with me are as great as my words with them. There is more work to be done. The results are beyond rewarding. I have no words to express my gratitude to the Mom that begun this inspirational life altering Challenge.

Get involved Mom. My LO reminds me already, “gentle voices Mom”.
Take The Challenge

JayNine xo

Ps. Stop over and encourage Miss Fanny P and my girl at the Fascinations of a Vanilla Housewife to assist in encouraging us to keep up the heard work this Challenge is for us! Thanks Moms!