Lessons while Driving

Each and every time, without fail, that I get the opportunity to drive any friends car, alone, without the children, on a nice day (or not); I cannot help but do a few of the following:

* HONK at cows!
A MUST!are you kidding me! They are the coolest creatures on earth and have a great life. Stand, sit, lye, eat, sleep, Repeat. If I believed in re-incarnation, I’d want to be a cow. (but, not one that would be harmed…) I’d have a bunch of fabulous buddies, hangin in the feilds, chewin complainin chatin, moooo’in; maxin and relaxin. Really! Feed me lots, and let me roam. Having already had, the opportunity to feel like a “milked” cow during breast feeding; I am not sure I’d mind that part very much either! Seriously, HONK AT A COW the next time you see a bunch on a country drive: WATCH their reaction! They really appreciate it!

** SING!
ooohh no, not just sing a tune here and there! I talking half way out the window like a dog on a hot day SING. Like in EVERY video of Mariah Carey type: hair stickin to my poppin lip gloss, beltin it out fearlessly–like I THINK I can actually sing. I cannot sing to save my own life but, I do it anyways!
What I enjoy most is the reactions I get from passerby folks or at the lights. Strangers starring. I just pretend I cannot see their faces. Holding a straight face is a difficult game. Some sing along, give a wave, look at me like I have 3 heads–doesnt change my tone. It is thee only place I know I wont see these people again.
TIP: Epecially fun when driving out of your own town.

*** PRAY:
Praying in a vehicle for me reminds me of when I first got ‘clean and sober’ 7+ years ago and ‘re-found God’ (whom had never left, another post..). There was once of these anonymous ‘poems’ or encouraging writings by someone just circulating around at the time with the suggestion: “..when in doubt, talk to the Empty Chair”. It was some kind of representation for sitting across a seat speaking to Jesus. I LOVED THAT idea, and in fact I used it often. In a vehicle is where I get that opportunity again. A reminder of the fresh newly renewed adoration I had for God that I had back then. I believed then, at any given moment I didn’t ask God to ‘be with me’ that I would die or relapse. “..And to relapse was to die anyway, that is just how it was for us (me)” … Which brings me straight into my next MUST and DRIVE:

*** CRY like a baby:
YEP, drive and cry. Pullover if it’s real bad even. I will cry to any song that has touching words. The beat or tempo has no meaning to me (unless its crap).
I CRY uncontrollably each and every single time I get to drive a friends car. It’s almost pathetic.

“Christmas Shoes” seriously, don’t even try NOT to cry listening to that.
— “Livin On A Prayer” by Bon Jovi
(Original Version is nothing compared to live!)that’s another one of those ‘early sobriety songs’ for me.

TODAY, specifically THIS song HIT me in the HEART:

These are the words. No matter what “Genre” you care for, this song spoke to my core. The ‘humane being’ in me.
I don’t expect you to like it. agree with it…even listen to the words.
This was my moment today. In my experience, this was the uncontrollable cry for me today in particular.
(Here is the link to the words to read of the song.)

I can barely put into words what I felt inside today. About myself. About life. About people I knew. About humanity at it’s worst and it’s best. It. Just. Hit. Me. Hard. link to YouTube.
Close Your Eyes and Imagine Your Children.

I have never heard this before.
It’s an old one: According to my teen.
Take a listen here; or read the words.

THE LAST Song was: “People Like Us” by Kelly Clarkson I have never heard before. In the moment I needed an upbeat song! It fit the bill and I pretended to know the words as I sang….(listen or watch video below)
Instantly, I started thinking of my WordPress Family and friends. All of you! I don’t have time to list you all. Besides, you know who you all are. Not picking favs but a must mention Sista feels like an extended missing family member!

Driving lesson for today:
LISTEN, drive safe, pray, smile, laugh, have fun —
and SING REALLY LOUD when you drive!!!

What crazy stuff do you do while driving? Have you seen anyone like me drive near you? What is your first thought or reaction? Share your Comment below! We all love to hear them!

See ya’s later My Herd,
JayNine xox

Grocery Line Up Lessons

My lesson at the grocery store line up today (yesterday ;)

Ummm yeah, us experienced Moms can always tell the first-time Mom from ourselves. The baby is in the car seat buggies, while Mommys imagining they’re comprehending the MOST complex of ideas and words. “my son said ‘ball’ at six months old” story, you know that one. Speaking in pitches and tones unread by the most advanced sound recognition inventions of the future; about some garbage of ‘perfection’ and love blah blah, you know the lingo. The Youthful and vibrant, ‘who me I? this ole thang? Always shop in ma best’

glancing back at ME…her hair strikingly dapper and straightened, with the 420* degree top of the line appliances; all the while dressed for the next runway shot. And of course, her Mom in toe.


Then, there’s little run-down, hurried, coffee in hand “hair? i have hair?, we’re not talking about the stuff stuck in the bathtub drain? are we?”…. lucky if i can find my 80’s curling brush, at 540am, to shove my big red mop,into a ponytail for the week!–ME

ME–I’d like to say ‘a real mom’ but,in all fairness, sometime in the distant past: I was once in that blissful state of matranonial novelty ignorance in my past. So I will say it, but without a pinch of insult ;)…(because we all know what her future holds)

and a little bit of attitude, just a smidgen:

I smile while looking down at my remains dressed to the nines in my $4, faded, 3 year old flip-flops; that I probably purchased at a mid-night stop for Advil during a 3-day-in-house stomach flu epidemic, while dressed in my UN-smelliest clothing from the first closest laundry heap.

While slightly boast-giggling: I reach for my iPhone WordPress App in the bottom of my second-hand purse, with hopes of completing this encouraging post for my readers before: I run out of time to walk to pick up LO at daycare, before the rain, rushing to get out of the store before the teenager realizes I’m missing and texts for a ridiculously expensive item she knows I do not want her consuming. Teens have that timing ability, I call it ‘manipulation‘. They know when I’m handful busy! ‘moms in a rush; lets text her for…'(a self-centered reason of course). (I am rabbling–stay for the big finish please):

Look, in all fairness, I used to be that first time mom: my babies made out of crystal, bubble her, don’t breath on the princess, check if shes breathing, don’t allow her to feel pain, cold, a breeze, or the breaths of another human being they’re all contaminated…I get that. I’m not jealous. Just call me ‘realistically experienced’. In fact, my world looked like that until my second walked. Then ME, just ended.


…BUT, …..


and it taught ME. The most of what truly matters to ME.

The truth is, I am an independent mother of two wonderfully evil perfect daughters containing the looks of their fathers for constant reminders and the devil-ness of their mother…just adds a twist to all the pretty truth is:

I’m extremely happy exactly the way my life is for the first time in my ever. I am a content unorganized, dirty, laughing, broke, ‘sick, messed up individual'(from some 80’s rap song) and I don’t wish to be anywhere but here, anymore…. I separated from ‘spouse'(dead-weight gifted life-ruiner), lost a 2,200 sq ft love-less home, a 5x’s towed brand new 2011 VW Tiguan SUV (I DO miss the wheels severely but I have legs), luxury of buying what was needed, wanted, to food bank walking, from traveling to living down the road from my Mother and Brother now….

To…rent a 2 bedroom moist cold comfy basement apartment, in a small town where we can roast marsh-mellows in our backyard, walk, and talk slowly, spend quality slower paced time with my children, discover, re-discover, re-create, get counseling, and learn about ME, and my children now.

FINISH: (about a month ago) I had a perception shifting profound life epiphany:
“I am for the first time in my almost 40 years, finally, in a place where I am not running from anything–or running after something”

Hope you enjoyed the pieces of me. Have a great day Moms and friends….

ok and to that new mommy syndrome, I say,
“CHEERS! Bitches!”

happy times

Thanks For Reading guys and Thanks to the young, gorgeous, unknowing, lovely, first time mom in the grocery store line up; for her soon to flee fragility; inspiring me to write this post.