That’s it! I’m DONE! I have put this off for far too long and the guilt and shame is relentless!
After reading this post by the Vanilla Housewife)(follow her!) I made a decision. A decision to take action, action against myself!
3 days ago, I took an oath to no longer ‘scream’ and/or ‘yell’ at my children. I am on day 4/365 to scream-free parenting; in accordance to the guidelines from the Orange Rhino Challenge.(about), with much to report…Unexpected results have happened already.
Without needing to go into an entire background check of reasons why I have scrreamed and yelled as a parent in the last 14 years, I would like to remain focused on the present moment and future successes. I am using this post to admit my faults, flaws, and absolute inability to control any situation around me, without yelling. I am focused on looking forward. I am determined to create change. I admit my misuse of parental power or that which I believed I had attained by yelling. (imagine?) This, my friends, make NO mistake is an extremely difficult flaw to admit; to you, to anyone. Anyone that has participated in something like this will say the same thing! I commend and thank those that came before me to share their inspiration. Remember, I am essentially admitting defeat in myself, in my parenting skills, admitting the cause of pain to my own precious child. (as I sit in tears).
But, on with the Challenge(details here)!!!
I taking up my sword** rising it against my foe, and ridding my-SELF of: the great angry woman/mother/hurt child that lies inside me and cheats me from having any real happy new experiences with my children today. With BOTH of my children. Teen and Four year old.
(**sword: reference to the assistance here from the Rhino Site suggestions, but also, the
Word Of God that is my core strength).
Today, I am (RE-) taking this Oath for all to witness, in writing here and will be publicly held accountable and report to you all, the challenges and changes to come. Orange Rhino site to join me. Take a look around to read the comments, replies, reports, and support of each other, on each. Or read 12 Steps to Stop Yelling at Your Children.
I have made it (almost to the end of day) 4 days, without screaming ‘at’ my 4 year old or teen!
I have made so much progress with my LO that I feel a sense of trust re-building, and rejoicing in my heart, that I can actually feel, glowing, strongly. The binds of our relationship are not heavy, weak, and based on fear. Their uplifting, strong, and based on love. Don’t get me wrong, LO knows when a change is in the air and produced the most difficult and defiant situations this weekend before me–in hopes I’d scream. Oh no folks, she does do some of it intentionally, to see how far til I scream. This weekend, lol, shes tried so much that I looked at her and said, in a calm voice(at her level)with a smile on my face (all I could do not to break my toe in drywall) “I know you want mommy to scream yes? Well, it’s not going to happen so stop trying” LOL
We had one incident maybe I will link a post to that here at some point.
So far, SOO good...
I will be posting updates as the days pass and placing the Links to them under a new Page I will start today (adding links regularly), titled: “365 Parenting” Each post numbered as such.
Today will be filed under “4/365”
Hopefully I will move forward,
and not back in number.
Leave with me your tips, advice, helpful links, or some kicks in the butt to keep up the work I must complete as it has been a fruitful weekend since beginning this Challenge.
In Sincerest Honesty,
*I will be adding a most helpful “Page” full of links for help for any others in need of support; or even children’s activities, for your parenting resources. You can leave help tips in the “Reply” space, there too.