365 Parenting Challenge

That’s it! I’m DONE! I have put this off for far too long and the guilt and shame is relentless!
No More!

After reading this post by the Vanilla Housewife)(follow her!) I made a decision. A decision to take action, action against myself!
3 days ago, I took an oath to no longer ‘scream’ and/or ‘yell’ at my children. I am on day 4/365 to scream-free parenting; in accordance to the guidelines from the Orange Rhino Challenge.(about), with much to report…Unexpected results have happened already.

Without needing to go into an entire background check of reasons why I have scrreamed and yelled as a parent in the last 14 years, I would like to remain focused on the present moment and future successes. I am using this post to admit my faults, flaws, and absolute inability to control any situation around me, without yelling. I am focused on looking forward. I am determined to create change. I admit my misuse of parental power or that which I believed I had attained by yelling. (imagine?) This, my friends, make NO mistake is an extremely difficult flaw to admit; to you, to anyone. Anyone that has participated in something like this will say the same thing! I commend and thank those that came before me to share their inspiration. Remember, I am essentially admitting defeat in myself, in my parenting skills, admitting the cause of pain to my own precious child. (as I sit in tears).

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But, on with the Challenge(details here)!!!
I taking up my sword** rising it against my foe, and ridding my-SELF of: the great angry woman/mother/hurt child that lies inside me and cheats me from having any real happy new experiences with my children today. With BOTH of my children. Teen and Four year old.
(**sword: reference to the assistance here from the Rhino Site suggestions, but also, the
Word Of God that is my core strength).

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Today, I am (RE-) taking this Oath for all to witness, in writing here and will be publicly held accountable and report to you all, the challenges and changes to come. Orange Rhino site to join me. Take a look around to read the comments, replies, reports, and support of each other, on each. Or read 12 Steps to Stop Yelling at Your Children.

I have made it (almost to the end of day) 4 days, without screaming ‘at’ my 4 year old or teen!
I have made so much progress with my LO that I feel a sense of trust re-building, and rejoicing in my heart, that I can actually feel, glowing, strongly. The binds of our relationship are not heavy, weak, and based on fear. Their uplifting, strong, and based on love. Don’t get me wrong, LO knows when a change is in the air and produced the most difficult and defiant situations this weekend before me–in hopes I’d scream. Oh no folks, she does do some of it intentionally, to see how far til I scream. This weekend, lol, shes tried so much that I looked at her and said, in a calm voice(at her level)with a smile on my face (all I could do not to break my toe in drywall) “I know you want mommy to scream yes? Well, it’s not going to happen so stop trying” LOL
We had one incident maybe I will link a post to that here at some point.
Otherwise

So far, SOO good...
I will be posting updates as the days pass and placing the Links to them under a new Page I will start today (adding links regularly), titled: “365 Parenting” Each post numbered as such.
Today will be filed under “4/365”
Hopefully I will move forward,
and not back in number.
Leave with me your tips, advice, helpful links, or some kicks in the butt to keep up the work I must complete as it has been a fruitful weekend since beginning this Challenge.

In Sincerest Honesty,

JayNine xo
*I will be adding a most helpful “Page” full of links for help for any others in need of support; or even children’s activities, for your parenting resources. You can leave help tips in the “Reply” space, there too.

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2 thoughts on “365 Parenting Challenge

  1. Oh wow the last few days I have been thinking seriously about doing this. I thought I’d watch closely and see how I went and whoops there was yelling yesterday. I’m going to do some more research and read the links etc. I’m almost there. Big congrats to you for making the step. It’s truly awesome!

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  2. “The binds of our
    relationship are not heavy, weak, and based on fear.
    Their uplifting, strong, and based on love.”

    -you my friend have just written the most beautiful yet very painful words I have come across regarding the challenge.

    How many times have we broken our children’s sense of being with our “parental power”?
    How many times have our children “followed” our orders not because they see the reason behind it but because they fear us?

    Thank you for joining me in my 365days of yell-free parenting. The Orange Rhino would be very pleased :D

    Like what you said in one of your comments, “We can only try”, so let’s try with all our might. I’m telling you now that our Challenge will be challenged by our human tendencies towards anger, impatience, and the fact that we only have 2 hands. BUT there is always a better way.

    We will get angry. We will be impatient. And we will always have 2 hands (unless something happens to them, God, forbid). But how we channel them will always make a difference.

    Let’s count 1 to Gazillion together! :)

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